Ghosts can be pretty scary, right? The thought of a ghost gliding around at night and causing havoc is enough to give anyone the heebie-jeebies! But, you know what’s not so scary? Ghost puns! Have a read through our list and give yourself a chuckle instead of a fright…
Best Ghost Puns
1 I was at a Halloween party once, and a ghost crashed it. He wasn’t there for the socializing; only the boos.
2 Did you know that ghosts actually really like fruit? Their favorite is the boo-berry.
3 It can be quite hard to find out where ghosts live, so I’ll give you a clue – look for the dead ends.
4 If you’ve ever been to a funfair with a ghost, you may get a little bored – they only ever want to ride the roller ghoster.
5 Some people are so scared of ghosts in their houses that they will only ever stay in the living room.
6 Ghost mums need childcare too! They drop their babies off at the day scare center.
7 I was talking loudly about how I think that ghosts are inferior, when someone called me out as being wraith-ist.
8 Boy ghosts have a failsafe chat up line for girl ghosts: “You look very boo-tiful today.”
9 I was out for a walk with my ghost friend when I suddenly lost them in the fog. They are very much mist.
10 You won’t find ghosts shopping on the high street, they tend to only use boo-tiques.
11 Ghost are terrible liars. You can see right through them.
12 You hardly ever see a ghost out in the rain… They don’t like it; it dampens their spirits.
13 My old house is haunted by the most muscly ghost I’ve ever seen. I asked him how he got so strong, and he answered, “Deadlifts.”
14 Have you ever asked a Hungarian ghost what their favorite food is? They all say the same – ghoul-ash.
15 Italian ghosts all like one type of food alone – spook-etti bolognese.
16 I have a ghost friend coming over to dinner, so I’m planning on cooking spaghetti car-boo-nara.
17 What do you call a ghost who comes back to you every time you throw him? A boo-merang.
18 Ghost love to hang around in elevators. It really lifts their spirits.
19 There’s the most beautiful ghost haunting my friend’s house. She’s absolutely dead gorgeous.
20 My friend found out his girlfriend is actually a ghost. He told me he had his suspicions when she walked through the door.
21 I met my now-wife at a fancy dress party. I had gone as a ghost, and I instantly decided to woo her.
22 The local jam factory is haunted by a ghost. Spotting it is always jarring.
23 A ghost walks into a pub, and demands a shot of whiskey from the barman. The barman replies, “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve spirits.”
24 Ghosts are some of the best customers in the whole library – they go through books so quickly.
25 Have you every heard of a chicken ghost? They’re called poultrygeists.
26 I once woke up to Gloria Gaynor’s ghost, standing right beside my bed. At first I was afraid, I was petrified!
27 Always avoid spirits when you’re on dating websites. You’ll only end up getting ghosted.
28 Ghosts never wear shoes, because they’re completely sole-less.
29 Cat ghosts never make it to either heaven or hell – they always get stuck in purr-gatory.
30 Why are ghosts similar to strong alcohol? Because their spirits can come back to haunt you.
31 It’s great going to ghost parties. They all outdo each other, trying to be the ghostess with the mostest.
32 What keeps a ghost safe in the car? A sheet belt.
33 I was surprised when my ghost friend went off with an entirely different species. Ah well, I guess demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
34 Ghosts are actually good fun to go dancing with – they really shake their boo-ty.
35 Have you noticed that ghosts are always pretty calm? They never let anything get under their skin.
36 I love playing poker with ghosts. I can always beat them; they are such dead giveaways.
37 Why did the ghost go to the gym next to the church? He wanted to exorcise.
38 Ghost comedians are great – they always make the audience scream with laughter.
39 My mum met a ghost in the supermarket one day – it was stocking up on scream cheese.
40 My friend died before he could write his memoirs, so now he’s a ghostwriter.
41 Have you ever wondered why ghosts stay in such good shape? It’s plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
42 The highest compliment you can receive from a ghost is, “That’s spectre-cular!”
43 We had a neighborhood ghost play games with us when we were kids. We always made him play ghoulkeeper in football.
44 A ghost was offered a job installing mirrors, but he turned it down. He just couldn’t see himself doing it.
45 Ghosts make terrible liars. They fall straight through the bed.
46 My local coffee shop is run by ghosts. Some staff have left, so they’re advertising for boo-risters.
47 All ghosts love pizza, and their favorite topping is cheese and tomb-ato.
48 It’s fun watching ghost children play around. Their favorite game is hide and shriek.
49 Do you know what the most popular holiday destination for ghosts is? South Afric-aaargghhhh.
50 I overheard two ghost chatting once. One said, “Long time, no see!” and the other said, “It’s so nice to seance you again.”
51 It’s very rare to spot a ghost at a party. They don’t like having no body to go with.
52 If you ask most ghosts what their favorite music is, the answer will be soul music.
53 It’s important for everyone to go to therapy, especially ghosts – they have a lot of inner demons.
54 I went to the new restaurant run by ghosts last night. The food was absolutely spook-tacular.
55 You should never take a ghost out for beers and takeaway – they just can’t stomach it.
So you see, ghosts don’t have to be scary. Sometimes they can be hilarious, so make sure you let these puns haunt your imagination for a long time to come!
