There’s no better way to relax than to enjoy a good list of puns. If you are looking for a giggle, recharge yourself with our battery puns!
Best Battery Puns
1 I was delighted when I received a package of dead batteries – you may not think I would be, but they were free of charge.
2 Did you hear about the alcoholic battery? It joined the AA and never looked back.
3 Batteries have very difficult to understand personalities. On the one side they are positive, while on the other they are negative.
4 I was walking on the beach one day when I saw a load of batteries washed up by the tide. I was collecting C cells on the sea shore.
5 Guess what? I have created clean energy! I left some batteries in my trouser pocket then put the trousers in the washing machine.
6 My car battery has two large lumps on it. I’m very worried, because I googled it and discovered it’s terminal.
7 My kid asked me one day why there are no B batteries. I replied that it’s because bees don’t need batteries.
8 I was trying to get rid of a dead car battery. I didn’t get much interest, until I stated that it was free of charge.
9 I had a blind date with a battery. He said he was pretty positive, but also mentioned that he had a negative side.
10 Batteries are not great at committing crime; they always get charged.
11 I’m always disappointed when I charge my phone. However much I ask it for, it never pays me.
12 A common condiment and a charging device were arrested recently. The police said it was a case of assault and battery.
13 My battery friend was feeling a bit low recently. I told him he should try to stay positive.
14 Iphones think that their charging devices are called apple juice.
15 Shocking story alert! The energizer bunny was arrested recently. He was charged with battery.
16 Batteries like to call their charging time re-volting.
17 I watched a battery resisting arrest recently. He was struggling and yelling, “You can’t charge me! I have contacts!”
18 The battery’s parents grounded him, which made him so mad he blew a fuse. He’s currently behaving much better though.
19 One dark night, the batteries in my torch ran out. You might think I’d be annoyed, but actually I was de-lighted.
20 My battery left me a note telling me it was all over. Now I tell everyone that my battery ran out.
21 Some people say that meat is murder. Does this mean that cake is battery?
22 A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He let one of them off and charged the other.
23 My father in law bought an electric car and a Dodge on the same day. He said it was because he thought you should buy both a battery and a Charger.
24 My car battery died, so I called the AA. They asked how tall it was, in case they needed to jump it.
25 Batteries love watching the news. They like to keep up with current events.
26 I heard my battery talking to the plug socket. It said, “I really get a charge out of you!”
27 I once met a battery who had rewritten the lyrics to a well known song. It had called it “Dancing In The Spark.”
28 My battery is always wrong, so I tell it that it’s sparking up the wrong tree.
29 If you’re ever out fishing with a battery, make sure you tell it that it is not allowed to shock the boat.
30 Batteries are well known in France. In fact, they consider themselves responsible for the Eiffel Power.
31 What is a battery’s favorite time of day? 3am – the witching power.
32 If you are on holiday to Italy with a battery, you must take it to the famous Leaning Power of Pisa.
33 Oh, you’re going to Paris too? Then you must visit visit the Eiffel Power!
34 My kid was looking for a really scary Halloween costume. I suggested they dress as a phone with 1% charge.
35 I overheard a conversation between two batteries earlier. One said to the other “I’m so happy I go rid of that charge hanging over me, I’m ex-static!”
36 A neutron walked into a bar and asked for a beer. On asking for the price, the barman replied, “No charge for you.”
37 I have just been on a summer holiday, and I met a robot. He said he was there to recharge his batteries.
38 My friend got a jumper for Christmas but it keeps giving him static shocks. He is planning on returning it to the shop for one that is free of charge.
39 Battery powered mechanical horses have been trialed for battles, but apparently they don’t charge fast enough.
40 I’m not a fan of how battery hens are kept; I think they’d lay more eggs if they were hooked up to the mains.
41 Did you hear about the guy who got arrested eating batteries? They say he’ll be charged in the morning.
42 My friend is boasting about how he has a radio that doesn’t need batteries. I think it’s a wind up.
43 There was a court case in my local town recently, where an aggressive geologist was charged with basalt and battery.
44 These days, naughty children don’t get coal from Santa, they get a pack of batteries with a note saying “Toy not included.”
45 I accidentally downloaded a colander app when I was looking for a calendar app, and now my battery won’t stop draining.
46 I’m a therapist, and once had a client become enraged when their phone ran out of battery. I suggested that they find an outlet.
47 Surprisingly, strawberries often need batteries. This is because they quickly run out of juice.
48 If you ever find yourself in prison, be sure to bring lots of batteries. The best brand is Duracell.
49 Unfortunately, marriage has no guarantees. If you want that, it’s best to hook up with a car battery instead of a person.
As you can see, there is a lot that is funny about everyday household items, and batteries are no exception!
