Beards is not just a collection of hair on the cheeks and chin, but a real achievement for those who grow them successfully. It is a sign of victory, respect, maturity, and all the positive adjectives you can think about. That said, beards are not without fun and beard puns are here to bring all that into the open. Whether you want to throw them in as you have your conversation with your bearded friends or simply shairing to make light of a moment, here is a collection of them.
Best Beard Puns
1. The barber is the only person who shaves more than 10 times a day and still ends up with a beard at the end of it.
2. A goatee is a goat with a beard.
3. When barbers participate in a race, expect them to win. This is because they always take the short cut.
4. The tried pushing me away, but I insisted that I mustache him a question.
5. If he was not my friend, I wouldn’t have shaved his father from the predicament.
6. Shaving your beard gives you a head start in life.
7. If by any chance you get bored during the barbecue, try beerd.
8. Men with beards do not need vacuums because they already have crumb catchers.
9. Star-burns are the only kind of facial hair that can help you fake even your own death.
10. A bald drug dealer with facial hair is called Heisenberg.
11. His behavior was unacceptable, I couldn’t bear-d it anymore.
12. When I asked him what his profession was, he said that he is a goatee herder.
13. New Year resolutions move on really well until it gets to shavpril that’s when some of the goals start dropping off.
14. There is this new beauty channel on cable TV hairing all the news about celebrities.
15. The worst part in having a beard is being confused with a hipster.
16. In my opinion, shaving cream doesn’t really soften your beard. It only ensures you don’t lose your place.
17. A few months into growing my beard, I started liking it. You could as well say, it is grown on me.
18. You should not pretend to be a man, beard the man.
19. In a beard fight, never bring your moustache.
20. Not everybody can be bearded. There must be someone standing on the side to clap as the men with beards go by.
21. If you say that your beard makes you look like a homeless, you are not the kind of person anyone would love in their home anyway.
22. If you are going for a feminine look, keep shaving because a beard will not compliment you.
23. The greatest lesson ever taught to me by my father is how to be a man. He tagged me along into the bathroom, got hold of the razor, and ate it.
24. Men do not grow beards, instead, beards grow men.
25. It is difficult to hear guys complementing each other and if they do, it only has to do on beards.
26. The best description of a beard is magnificence escaping through the face.
27. Just in case you have a beard and still can’t change a tire, go shave.
28. Beards are not annoying in summer because manliness is never seasonal.
29. It feels good to have beardless friends. Whenever you are out with them, everyone thinks you are the leader.
30. When they came over, we were in the basement drinking some beards and watching NFL.
31. Let no one fool you, drinking beards doesn’t give you sideburns.
32. On that day, I remember clearly, he had won a t-shirt written, “I find your lack of beard disturbing.”
33. Did you know that BILF means beard I’d like to fondle?
34. Is it true that beards and whisky can make one frisky?
35. You know very well that I would have loved to go with you. Never mind, beard my eyes when you get there.
36. I know lots of people hate me because I am irresistibly beardful.
37. I do not want to shave my beard because it has grown attached to me.
38. – “I mustache you a very serious question”
– “Would you please shave it for later?”
39. At first, I do not actually like having a beard. However, it grows on me over time.
Even if you do not have beards, you must have enjoyed the beard puns above. If so, don’t keep all this awesomeness to yourself. Shave the fun for others as well as you check out the following other puns like dance puns, hair puns, and airplane puns.
Dissapointed pun enthusiast
There’s like 1/2 an actual pun in this entire list.
Dissapointed pun enthusiast
This entire list only has about 1/2 an actual pun in it.