Monkeys and primates are our closest relatives, and they are definitely wild animals who have never picked up a joke book. We, on the other hand, love monkey puns! If you or a loved one are a fan of all things monkey, have a look through this list and see if one or two of them don’t send you bananas with the giggles!
Best Monkey Puns
1 Primates need to relax and unwind after a long day too. They tend to go to the monkey bars for a drink and a chat to friends.
2 Monkeys never play cards in the jungle – there are always too many cheetahs around.
3 It’s never a good idea to get into battle with a monkey. They will almost certainly win; they use gorilla warfare.
4 Contrary to popular belief, monkeys do wear underwear. They call them chimpantsies.
5 My monkey friend is absolutely useless at keeping secrets. You can’t tell him anything – he’s a real blab-boon.
6 Did you most humans actually eat more bananas than monkeys? This is because most people don’t really like the taste of monkey.
7 I have a lot of monkey friends who share my Amazon account. I call them my Prime mates.
8 Did you know that there is a species of monkey which can fly? It’s called a hot air baboon.
9 My monkey friend recently had a baby; eve though he’s still very young you can tell he’s a real chimp off the old block.
10 It’s really easy to get a one-armed monkey out of a tree – you just wave to it.
11 What do monkeys wear while they are cooking? An ape-ron.
12 What do you call a monkey with bananas in both ears? You can call him anything you want, he can’t hear you.
13 Monkeys are terrible for gossiping, and I’ve often wondered where they get their information. Turns out they hear all the best secrets on the ape vine.
14 It’s really easy for monkeys to get down the stairs. They don’t walk, they just slide down the banana-ster.
15 I had a monkey friend whose tail got chopped off. He just sighed and said, “It won’t be long now…”
16 What do you call a monkey at the North Pole? Very, very lost.
17 Where does a gorilla that weighs a ton sit down? Literally anywhere he wants to.
18 What did the banana say to the monkey? Nothing, silly, bananas can’t talk.
19 Chimpanzees are so cheeky. They’re always up to some sort of monkey business.
20 Bananas have a lot of appeal to monkeys.
21 What do you do if a gorilla charges you in the jungle? Pay him whatever he’s asking for.
22 There’s only one difference between a well-dressed monkey on a tricycle and a poorly-dressed monkey on a bike. Attire.
23 What do you call a big orange monkey that’s got its arms in a knot? An orangu-tangle.
24 There was some really strange weather last spring; monkeys were falling from the sky. People said it was the ape-ril showers.
25 I’ve never been any good at the monkey bars, so I decided to practise a lot more. Now I’m starting to getting the hang of it.
26 My monkey friends have just broken up. They still loved each other, but she didn’t like that he was always hanging around with other girls.
27 Why did the monkey cross the road? He had to prove he wasn’t a chicken.
28 Baby monkeys have to go to school so they can learn their Ape-B-Cs.
29 It can be quite tiring, being friends with a monkey. They’re always trying to chimp-pose their will on you.
30 I once dated a monkey. It took me ages to break off the relationship; I was worried that he’d go bananas.
31 Have you heard about the monkey that won everything? He was quite the chimp-ion.
32 I always have my monkey friends over for Christmas, but I get annoyed when they change the lyrics to “Jungle bells, jungle bells…”
33 It’s great to have them around though. We always toast the new year in with chimp-agne.
34 At the monkey Oscars, everyone was very supportive, and each winner was celebrated with a round of ape-lause.
35 Did you know, monkeys have a Father Christmas too? He always goe in through the chimp-ney.
36 I have a group of monkey friends who are very worried about the end of the world. They call it the ape-pocalypse.
37 I once heard a mother monkey telling her baby off at the zoo. She was screaming, “You’re a bad-boon!”
38 Two monkeys were sharing a bath. One screeched, “Ooh ooh, aah aah!” The other one said, “Well, put some cold water in then!”
39 Monkeys are the best, they really are. I mean, they’re ape-solutely my favorite animal.
40 I’ve been wondering why monkeys are always so fit, so I asked one what the secret was. They replied, “Ape-robics!”
41 Monkeys are pretty amazing, really. They put on tail-ent shows to show off their skills.
42 My monkey boyfriend told me he loved me the other day. I asked if he was serious; he replied, “Fur real!”
43 If you ever see a monkey without a tail, chances are he’s heading straight to the retail park.
44 What’s white and swings through the trees? A merang-utan.
45 It’s a shame, but monkeys are not actually very good at school work. They just don’t have the ape-titude.
46 There’s only one type of monkey that really likes seafood – the shrimpanzee.
47 Have you heard about a monkey’s favorite fruit? It’s not actually a banana – they like ape-ricots.
48 What does a banana do if it spots a monkey? The banana split.
49 Why did the giant monkey climb up the side of the skyscraper? Because the lift was broken.
50 My gorilla friend wasn’t feeling well the other day. I asked her what was wrong, and she said she had a tummy ape.
51 Have you heard about the monkey that has eight legs? It’s also called the spider monkey.
Monkey puns are a great way to lighten the mood, whether you’re at a zoo or just sitting around at home. Get down to (monkey) business!
